Recap

Today is day 15 of my “31 days” of writing challenge.  Some days I get super stoked and impassioned about this topic and other days I just want to kiss this whole challenge thing goodbye!! {Seriously, at times I just want to write about something inane. Like make-up. And fall boots.}  But despite my ever changing feelings, I’m plugging along over here on Chapter Twenty.

Here’s a little recap of my posts so far:

Day 1: It all starts with a whisper

On Day 2 and Day 3 I wrote about being a people pleaser!

Days 4, 5, and 6 were about beauty.  {Don’t worry, I’m still going to write more on this topic! I just got a little annoyed with it for a sec…}  

Day 7 was about how you can never be more or less valuable than you already are in God’s sight.

A beautiful hymn was featured on Day 8.

Days 9 and 10 were about human dignity.

A song for Day 11: Josh Garrels, White Owl

Days 12, 13, and 14 capitalized on busyness. Does a busy lifestyle increase value? Um. No.

If you want to see the introductory post {because your haven’t gotten enough of seeing it at the end of every other post this month. . . } click HERE! :)

Thanks for following along with me as I blunder my way through this thing. I am truly enjoying the ride. See you on Day 16!

Lend me your wisdom {please}

Speaking of balances in life and busyness, I’ve been wondering about something…

I like to call myself a “socialized introvert” and as such, I have struggled with finding that line between pushing people away and socially over-extending myself. I want to be intentional about being in authentic community.  Sometimes I find that I end up overdoing my social life and losing that precious time of reflection and solitude that is vital to my sanity.  But on the flip side, I have also gone through seasons where I felt that choosing to rest resulted in people in my relational world feeling pushed away. {Even though that was certainly NOT my intention.}

Has anyone else experienced this? What is your ‘perfect’ balance solution?

I’m too busy to think of a good title.

I have to chuckle at myself sometimes.  When I have time to blog, my brain goes blank.  Yet, when I’m living a life worth blogging about, I can hardly sit down long enough to let my fingers rest on the keys.

This morning I woke up before dawn and drove toward the sunrise to pick up a sweet lady who needed a ride down to Los Angeles.  I’ve been taking many little jobs like this and I’m actually enjoying this type of busy-ness. It is different from my past forms of busy-ness. This particular job was fun because I had the whole trip home from LA alone to think.  

With this series on “value” {which seems to be flagging, I know!} I’ve been needling out the ways I have mistakenly derived value in my life. I talked about beauty in previous posts and I feel like I haven’t completed my thoughts on that yet.  So I’m leaving it open as fodder for future posts. {This 31 Day challenge isn’t methodically planned here on Chapter Twenty, if you haven’t noticed…} There is another way that I have wrongly tried to seek my value: busyness.   

Somehow, I got it into my head that a full schedule increases my importance.  I don’t know what the source of this idea was in my life, but it’s an idea that seems to have engulfed the entire American culture. {Can I get an ‘Amen!?'} If I could have a dime for every time I heard someone use the term “busy” to describe their life… I wouldn’t be a poor college grad, that’s for sure.

Seriously. We run ourselves ragged! What’s the deal!?

My value does not derive from my schedule. 

So if this is the case, why do I act like it does? 

choose rest

A balancing act

A balancing act: the tightrope between my expectation to be treated with respect and self-exaltation.  How can I live that balance well?  More fundamentally, how can my heart stay balanced in that as well?

At the same time, I certainly don’t want to fall into the pit that is insecurity.

What is the solution for avoiding pride, avoiding insecurity, but living a life that displays a thorough knowledge of my value and dignity?

Oh, the dilemma.

I discovered in college that these types of questions are so difficult for me.  I admired students who would raise their hands and answer with perfect clarity a difficult question posed by a professor.  In addition to admiration for their eloquence, however, I often disagreed with or only partially agreed with what the student said.  Life is SO not black and white in my mind.

When tossed a dilemma, my most common response is to chew and ponder and contemplate and mull over and every other synonym for think.  Often, even  this process doesn't land me on a solid answer. {annoying!}

Image Source

I think it will always be a balancing, juggling, circus act for me to live this out.  I know that sometimes I will fall off that tightrope onto the side of insecurity and an improper estimation of my value.  Other times, I’ll find myself equally off the tightrope on the side of pride and an overestimation of myself. The only practical thing I can do is recognize that the tightrope exists and continually evaluate which side is causing my instability. 

Click here to see what this is all about.