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Not-Sharing, Sharing and Over-sharing - how to walk the tightrope.

Posted on: 5.01.2013


I’ve been coming across a clash of personalities recently. I wouldn’t say this is something new in my life, rather, it’s something that is becoming increasingly noticeable to me.  I’ve been trying to think through it while I’m in a meditative state of mind rather than a heated one but despite my thinking, I have yet to come to any real conclusions. So please bare with me while I talk out {write out} some of my underdeveloped thoughts. 

I am not a public personality. I have close friends and family members who I talk with very openly, but it does not feel natural to me to open up in the same way to everybody. This is especially true when I’m in a group. I guess you can say that my group personality is quite reserved and private even though I may not be as reserved in a one-on-one conversation. Are you following? I feel like I’ve already begun to talk in circles...

So in light of this reality about myself, I have found that it isn’t uncommon for me to feel uncomfortable when I’m being questioned in a crowd. Even if it’s about something exciting! I might be answering questions about my job, or my relationship status, or my hopes and dreams... all things that are a pleasure to talk about with another individual. Yet, when I’m in the group setting I easily feel overexposed, a little bruised, and to put it in the harshest terms: interrogated. 

I also find it interesting that I know intellectually when I am the center of a conversation in a crowd, that the people with whom I am speaking ask questions out of genuine interest.  Their purpose is not to make me feel poked and prodded. 

So this is the question I’ve been asking myself regarding this issue: How can I know this truth in my head (that the intentions of the people asking questions are not intending malice), and yet continue to feel differently (as in, leaving the situation feeling like I’ve been overexposed)?

**I also recognize the irony of these feelings in light of the fact that I write a personal blog which is mostly all about me. Go figure.**


  1. Oh I'm with you. I much prefer one-on-one as opposed to groups. I really like couple duos or trios too, but groups of girls has never been my thing. I think this is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel like you need to change!

    Thanks for sharing this :)

    1. It is good to know other people (like you) who feel similarly! The majority of my friends and family are much more extroverted so I definitely feel my minority status sometimes... :)

  2. Are you an INFJ? (I can't remember if we've discussed this. I feel that we have.)

    1. Yes! I'm an INFJ! :) I think we did talk about it quite a while ago, but I can't remember the context of that conversation... You're an INFJ too, right?


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