"I dwell in possibility" ~Emily Dickinson

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Processing, Processing, Processing

Posted on: 4.18.2011

On a typical school day, it seems to have become routine for me to arrive home at the end with a sense of despair over the state of the world, humanity, myself, and just . . . everything! And though I know intellectually that the Lord is sovereign in every sense of the word, it is fairly difficult to grasp that with one’s whole being at all times.

The processing of life has become extremely laborious and exhausting to me in the last few months. Perhaps it is the enormity of analyzing every aspect of anything I can wrap my mind around, but there are some days when I just want to leave my brain behind for a while and take a break. {Seriously, I would love to stop thinking for maybe an hour or so and take a dreamless nap.} But alas, leaving my brain behind would mean that I physically perish, and I’m not searching for that type of solution to life’s difficulties!

Yet, as I have been grappling with some increasingly complex thoughts {and emotions, etc}, I’ve also experienced some inexplicable moments of God-induced serenity. It’s moments like these that make the pain of processing seem entirely worth it.

I know I’m being vague about what I mean about “processing” and all that it entails, but my purpose here is to encourage others to search deeply, to explore the avenues of thought that seem to challenge the notion of a Sovereign God. Each time I challenge a facet of God's character, He pretty much proves Himself to be the most awesome Deity EVER.

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