Interaction: an essay of the rambling sort

My thoughts lately have been spiraling around one question: what is valuable human interaction? It’s kind of an odd question if you think about it because human interaction is so necessary, so daily, so much a part of the human experience that to sit and ponder it feels a little strange. It might be akin to sitting around pondering the value of air or water or nourishment. {Although, to be perfectly honest, I have pondered those things. Thinking about things is just my nature!} This question of valuable interaction has weighed on me recently in a way that sometimes feels oppressive or smothering. I almost feel like I’m wrestling with a hazy cloud of vague ideas encompassed by the grey area of our socially saturated culture. 

One thing I’ve been able to tease out of this hazy thought-mass is that the pervasive world of virtual communication is not satisfying. I’m sure some would heartily disagree with me. They’d probably lay out valid points of argument and I’d be happy to give those points an affirmative nod in response: maybe something about virtual interaction satisfies them in a way that is lacking for me. My thoughts on this are deeply personal and are largely a result of who I am and how I see the world. From my perspective, I see virtual forms of communication and think: there’s just something missing. 

It took me a while to recognize that there’s something missing for me when it comes to virtual socialization. And I suppose it might be helpful if I clarify what I mean by that phrase! Virtual socialization, to me, refers specifically to platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and the like. They are places where one can glean information about other individuals without ever needing to communicate  or emotionally invest in another. Don’t start thinking that I’m some anti-Facebook guru or something: I’m certainly not! I jumped right into the world of online social platforms with the best of them! I created my first myspace account at age 14 and transitioned to Facebook at age 17. As embarrassing as that is to admit, I have to say it makes me think about some of the mob mentality that often comes with swift, widespread cultural change. 

Sometimes it seems that with rapid cultural change individuals don’t always stop to think about their actions. I know my 14 year-old-self sure didn’t. As a teenager I didn’t recognize the way an online social sphere would impact my generation’s method of interacting. I didn’t take the time to think about how the Facebook “like” button would impact my thoughts on what was valuable. I didn’t stop to realize how much personal information was divulged by my “friends” without any sensible filtering. I’m thinking about these things now as I’m growing into adulthood. I’m combing through some of those habits I formed in my teenage years and realizing how many actions are byproducts of mindlessly moving with the masses on a trajectory of social change. 

As my generation has grown into adulthood as the first to discover a new form of community that is easily-accessed but doesn’t require much emotional investment, I wonder if perhaps we’ve lost something along this path. We may, indeed, be more connected than ever before. Our professional networks may be more expansive, our personal friends might stay in our lives longer, and we may even make new friends and embark on new relationships as a result of the ability to access virtual community easily. For me, the benefits of my ability to make widespread connections pales in comparison to the raw, personal investment that comes with getting coffee with a dear friend. 

Those face-to-face interactions that allow me to read through the hollow words of a friend and recognize that she’s hurting are so, so valuable. I want to be the type of friend who doesn’t just “like” a friend’s status update or picture but who walks alongside a friend in authentic community. I want to be there to encourage the friend who is going through something I’ve been through, to lend my ears, to offer a hug, and to extend advice when necessary. 

Valuable human interaction in my opinion, is the type of interaction that exists both on and off-line. 

On courage and authenticity

So I’ve been thinking {That’s good right?} about what it means to live a courageous and authentic life.  This thought process has made me realize how often I am not courageous; and how my lack of courage actually causes me to be inauthentic. Sort of.

In fact, it might seem odd, but this little blog right here is the prime example of my lack of courage. I have been writing steadily for over four years (FOUR YEARS!?) on this thing and for the most part I have kept it pretty hush-hush. Like when people ask what my hobbies are, I say “You know, the usual, hanging out with friends, traveling, skiing, swimming, listening to music, reading and *covers mouth and coughs a little* writing.” Ahem what? Writing? No, I didn’t say that.

And then whenever the inevitable “blog” word comes up, I feel like I should justify it by saying “I know this sounds reeeeaaally nerdy: I write a blog.” Go crawl in the corner and be ashamed.

So that’s the back story about my cowardice. But the root of it is this: I have such a hard time letting people just think what they will! So I avoid “putting myself out there” and maybe looking a little strange. This is not the way to live with courage and authenticity.

The first step toward courage and authenticity for me is actually owning up to who I am to my entire social network. {If you want to know how freaked out I get about the social networking thing…click here!} One of my hobbies is writing. I love writing. And one facet of this hobby includes writing this blog.

Sometimes I even write about really scandalous stuff. Like my faith. {Oh my goodness, no she didn’t.} Yes. Yes, I do.

Sometimes I write when I want to punch someone in the face… with words, of course. (Probably shouldn’t have written that right after the faith point I just made…)

Sometimes I write with humor.

Sometimes I exude melancholy.

But for the most part, I’m really just me. An authentic, me.

So thanks for reading, friends! (Including those who found me through a social networking sphere.) I hope we can stay friends even when I’m being courageous and authentic.

Social networking culture

Even though I have grown up in the initial technologically-based social networking era {say that five times fast…} I created a myspace account (so embarrassing!) when I was 15, then switched to facebook at 17. That same facebook account is the one I use today.

On facebook I am connected to “friends” from basically every chapter of my life. I’m connected with old elementary school friends, elementary school teachers, jr high friends, high school friends, college friends, church friends (from all churches I’ve attended at all ages), family friends, extended family, immediate family, old acquaintances, new acquaintances, coworkers, and even my previous managers! My goodness.

I don’t think there has ever been a group of people I’ve known with whom I have been inauthentic. It’s just that different settings bring out different facets of my personality. . . and this definitely causes issues when I go to post any sort of “status” update.  Before I post, I start thinking about alllllllllll the people who can read it, which kind of freaks me out. So I usually delete whatever comment I was going to make.

Is this the case for anyone else out there? Or am I just way overly analytic?